THERAPY FOR OVERWHELMED MOMS
The mental load – “where can I drop this off?”
Exhausted, overwhelmed, stressed? Any of these words may describe the struggle that comes with the mental and emotional burden of parenting today. A burden that is primarily carried by women. And the more roles you play-- mother, partner, boss, colleague, spouse, co-parent, volunteer coordinator, kid chauffer, book club coordinator, in home cook, family schedule manager…(well, you get the idea) they all add a little extra weight to that already heavy load. The fact that our society is just barely starting to acknowledge that this load is even a thing that exists only adds to a common question my clients often ask, which is…
“Why can’t I do this/What’s wrong with me?”
The short answer is nothing. There’s nothing “wrong” with you, your ability, inability (or what you think of as an inability) to do it all. This is more than likely an issue of lack of support. AND until we see a seismic shift in attitudes about what women should/can/need to do, we need to find better and more efficient ways to manage those resources so it’s not backing up on you or the people you love.
I can help you to set clear and manageable boundaries, communicate better with the people you love, and form healthier habits all around so you can live a happy, healthy, and more balanced life.
“I never thought I’d be like this”
Before becoming a mother, you may have thought you were decently prepared. You read all the books, took the right birthing and parenting classes, had a good connection with your partner; basically felt like “yeah, it’s a little nerve-wracking but I got this.” You felt like you had dealt head-on with your “childhood issues” maybe even attending therapy before. Now as a mother yourself, you may find that you’re doing some of the same stuff you swore you’d never do with your own kids.
If you are experiencing:
Less patience and snapping more with your kids
Fighting more with your partner and even growing resentful of them.
Losing sleep
Worrying all the time
Finding it harder and harder to stay focused at work.
Less and less time or even interest in the things that fill up your cup like friends, exercise, hobbies
You may be starting to think it will always be this way or there’s nothing you can do to change it. But know that it can change and you deserve to feel happier.
You may also find that your once “dealt with” family of origin issues are popping up again. Are you:
Arguing with parents or family?
Avoiding family gatherings and starting to dread the holidays?
Letting your mom’s calls go to voicemail?
Feeling like you have to either shut up or risk ruining relationships by speaking up for yourself or your kids?
If this sounds like you, know you are not alone and it doesn’t have to be this way.
Isn’t that just blaming my parents for my stuff?
No, this is not about blaming your parents, especially your mother, for all your problems. To be clear, Sigmund Freud is not my hero.
I know firsthand the very real struggles of motherhood. And I have endless supplies of compassion for all moms. Something my clients often hear me say is “we’re all doing the best we can with the resources we have at the time.” AND, despite all their love and best intentions, we didn’t always get what we needed as kids.
So no, this isn’t about blaming your problems on your parents. It’s not about cutting anyone out of your life. It IS about coming to terms with what you missed as a kid and how that’s impacting you now. It is about healing old scars so that you’re able to be the kind of person, partner, parent and even daughter you want to be.
“Always remember, there was nothing worth sharing like the love that let us share our name”
— The Avett Brothers
